HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC FAMILY

Some lucky people are born into families where they enjoy spending time together; their love for each other makes holidays and intergenerational gatherings drama-free. For others, a phone call from a parent can trigger childhood anxiety, and they leave family gatherings hurt, angry or exhausted. Toxic family dynamics can have a profound impact on our adult lives.

Many of us have created unhappiness in our families. They may not care what we look like, they may try to manipulate us to get their way, or they may simply not respect other people's boundaries.

This person may be toxic, but if it's a close relationship, you may not want to cut them out of your life. That doesn't mean you have to accept their bad behavior. 

When it comes to getting rid of toxic parents, we have several options. I know from my own experience and from treating others that it is important to try all these options. When we experience them all, the decision to abandon them becomes easier to make because we realize that the toxic people in our lives leave us no choice.

The best ways to cope with toxic family members

Try to talk about it

If you want to keep a toxic parent in your life—or at least maintain a warm relationship with him or her when you see him or her at family gatherings.

Carmichael says the first thing you should do in this conversation is acknowledge that you've allowed a pattern of toxic behavior to develop because you've allowed this person to abuse you without setting boundaries and that you're no longer willing to put up with it.

Decide what you want

Being clear about what you want out of a relationship can help you define the boundaries you want to set.

Let's say you like being with your sister on the weekend, but not when she asks about your love life. You know she will pass this information on to your mother, who will call you to criticize and ridicule you.

One solution may be to limit your visits to your sister to once a month and tell her in advance that you will not discuss these meetings.

definition of boundaries

This is simple to say but very important. New players are more likely to fall into the poison net. In other words, they are just experiencing what it is like to hang out with a toxic person. If you're an experienced gamer, you may have already played a few games with your family and are learning how to play them.

Limit contact

This can be difficult, especially if family members often meet at different times. You may not be able to avoid contact altogether, but you can find ways to protect yourself from harmful family members by surrounding yourself with like-minded people. For God's sake, don't lock yourself in a room.

Do not intervene

In addition to limiting contact, it is important not to intervene, especially if they are provocative or belligerent. It's sometimes hard to keep quiet when someone says or does something monstrous, but it's important to learn to do so for your own health and mental well-being. Anything you say can be used against you, and nothing you say can change the minds of others.